I’ve had anxiety since I was a teenager, I’ve learned to live and cope with it. Other days, it blindsides and creeps into my thoughts and takes over.
Through time I’ve encircled myself with friends who also struggle with mental health. Not exclusively or intentionally, however, it’s something that I’ve found helpful as we traverse through the difficulties of life.
Thus far, it’s been beneficial to learn and grow alongside friends despite our struggles. However, as of lately, the newest thing that I’m learning is just because my anxious-depressive brains intersect with theirs doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be boundaries.
Setting limits in friendship, especially when living with anxiety or depression, can be healthy.
Nevertheless, just because I may be okay with talking through things doesn’t mean the other person is in the right headspace to want to discuss, that’s when I recently relearned the lesson I forgot; It’s a two-way street.
That’s when I learned to take a step back and give them the space they desire to get through their difficult moment. Everyone deserves a reflective time of self-preservation.
Some may find it severe or selfish, but in all honesty, it’s okay to be selfish if it’s for peace of mind when struggling through an anxious or depressive or anxious-depressive episode.
It’s easy to forget that in sharing anxiety-filled moments with friends in life can sometimes be overwhelming and can activate our anxieties.
The line between codependency can get hazy; we tend to forget that although our friends are there for us unconditionally, they’re not our therapists.
It’s a helpless person being led by a fellow helpless; neither are in the correct emotional place. Therefore allow you or your friend to take the time you need.
Being honest and verbalizing that you can’t take something on or rather not speak on something is the best way to set boundaries in the friendship.
Candidly asking something along the lines of, “I need to vent/talk but only if you can take this on right now” can be extremely helpful in friendship. We have enough to deal with work, relationships, family, health, etc. that close bonds shouldn’t be exhausting or draining to one another.
