We don’t often realize how ghosting can affect mental health. The term itself, ghosting, is the act of electronically cutting someone completely off from texts or calls without reason or closure. They’re the unfriendly ghosts.
Sometimes feeling sad is inevitable. It’s an impending doom that comes over like a wave of melancholy that washes over me.
For instance, on Friday, I felt this imminent shadow gloom following me. Keeping busy helped until it didn’t. So I gave into feeling downhearted, and I listened to my sad playlist and took a depression nap. Still making strides in my mental health recovery, what sparked my sadness was the feeling of being ignored by someone I was invested in. Talk about the proverbial ouch. This is how ghosting can affect mental health for an anxious/depressive-like myself. Now, for those unfamiliar with this concept, this is otherwise known as ghosted.
On the other hand, ghosting can be circumstantial. We’re all busy with a lot on our plates, or maybe you’re ignoring someone who wronged you (understandable; you don’t need any toxicity in your life).
However, being left on “read” makes my anxious brain overanalyze. Even rereading last text interactions to wonder what went wrong. Worst of all is being on the precipice of a potential depression spiral. Ghosting tips you over the edge enough to what feels like an emotional freefall down a cliff.
Afterward comes the feeling of rejection and shame, more specifically, feeling like you’re not good enough. Maybe that’s just me. Or perhaps we’re overly needy, which is also what my anxiety makes me think.
No one likes feeling ostracized, particularly when we, as humans, depend heavily on social connections. Feeling excluded often triggers the same neural activation as physical pain. No one would ever ghost someone during a “real-life” conversation or date; instead, we awkwardly make up a polite lie to save face.
So cue my inner Carrie Bradshaw voice, why’s ghosting become a go-to exit-strategy online?
Additionally, there’s no separation between life online and “in real life.” We each spend hours online and interacting with others. There should be authenticity within digital friendships and relationships, just like “real life.”
Consequently, ceasing communication to avoid a negative conversation or conflict with the other person is reductive. Unless there is absolutely no agreeance and things went left. Some believe it’s easier because they know that the person they’re messaging will not benefit their future, which is fine.
For some, it’s easier to ghost someone instead of putting in the continual effort of maintaining a friendship or relationship without resolution. Equally important is knowing when to stop trying to “salvage” a sour situation by being persistent with messaging. Especially if that person doesn’t seem to be in the mood or, worse, care to keep in touch.
This brings up knowing there are boundaries and basically invisible polite societal text limitations. Back to back, texting or endless calls would make anyone panic, much less want to ghost you. In contrast, it’s only easier for the person who ghosts.
Nevertheless, the speculation of the unknown is mentally exhausting. The uncertainty can inflict a sharp pang on your mental health.
Being ghosted is hurtful. It leads to overthinking and coerces you to fill in the voids.
Currently, I’m learning that there’s no surefire proven way to avoid getting ghosted. In all honesty, this may be a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes things don’t work out. Alternatively, you could confront the situation head-on with a simple reply about being ghosted. Usually, that leads to more ghosting, but even if you don’t receive a reply, at least you know that you tried. Which is a lot better than these unfriendly ghosts are doing.
